FIC: The Great Blackberry Tea Problem
Nov. 2nd, 2011 10:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zaubraFandoms: UK Politics
Title: The Great Blackberry Tea Problem
Ship(s): Yvette Cooper/Ed Balls/Andy Burnham
Word Count: 578
Rating: R
Summary: There are many ways to tell the story of how Yvette's Blackberry ended up drenched in tea. For this prompt at the meme.
Disclaimer: This is a creative work of fiction, composed of fictional characters inspired by the public personas of living people. No injury or disrespect is intended to the persons named. If you've found this by googling yourself or someone you know, stop playing on the Internet and go run the country.
The Great Blackberry Tea Problem
“My boyfriend knocked a cup of tea over on top of it while he was in bed with me and my husband.”
This is how Yvette would answer the helpful young person, if she was being entirely honest.
But beyond the obvious security implications of a random helpful young person having that information – although Yvette doubts that the random helpful young person knows who she is in the first place – that statement implies a certain type of situation.
Perhaps Ed sank into Andy, and Andy’s arm flew out in ecstasy, and he knocked a cup of tea over on the bedside table. (But this didn’t happen.)
Perhaps Yvette was sucking Andy’s cock, and Andy reached down blindly to palm the back of her head, misjudging his reach – with predictable results for the cup of tea. (But this didn’t happen either.)
Perhaps Ed was going down on Yvette, as Andy slowly worked his fingers into Ed’s arse, and in his attempts to get a better angle, Andy kicked a leg out and caught the tea a glancing blow. (But this was not what happened.)
Perhaps Andy was riding Ed’s cock, as Yvette pinched Ed’s nipples and whispered things in his ear, and a particularly vigorous thrust from Ed overbalanced Andy and sent him tumbling off the bed, grasping at everything in his path to slow his descent, including cups of tea. (But even this was not what happened.)
The helpful young person is still waiting for an answer, doing helpful things to Yvette’s poor beloved tea-drenched Blackberry while she waits for Yvette’s explanation.
“It was an accident,” Yvette finally says.
Yvette, in bed, trying to finish her chapter, absent-mindedly asking Andy to pass her cup of tea. Andy, rolling over, in the act of picking it up. Ed, sauntering naked in from the shower, throwing himself down on the bed between them with great drama and showering of water droplets, jogging Andy’s arm and precipitating the deluge.
“Honestly, I’ve done it myself,” the helpful young person says, handing her Blackberry back. Yvette resists the urge to cuddle it. If Ed ever found out – and he would – he’d never stop making fun of her. “It’s safer to leave it in your handbag, of course, but who does that?”
Who does that, indeed.
Ed is waiting outside in the car. “Did they fix the blackberry tea problem?”
“Yes,” Yvette says, curling her fingers around it protectively.
“Blackberry tea problem,” Ed says again. “Get it?”
“It was raspberry, Ed,” Yvette says, long-sufferingly.
“Be a better story if it was blackberry,” Ed says, and checks for traffic.
Yvette hides a smile. “You can tell it that way if you want to. Leave Andy out, though.”
“Be a better story with him in,” Ed says, managing to keep a straight face for a moment.
“Yes, it would,” Yvette says, after they’ve finished laughing, “yes, it would.”
Time for a tentative test tweet, as Ed pulls out into the road; time for a tentative test text to Andy, euphemistic and guarded but eloquent nonetheless; time for a tentative test call to her mother, asking if the kids can sleep over at her house.
After all, in the wake of the Blackberry trauma their lovely evening had been quite derailed. Perhaps, Yvette thinks, they can try again tonight. Perhaps all those situations that didn’t-happen can yet be made to happen.
But this time, her beloved Blackberry is staying far away from tea. Raspberry, blackberry, or otherwise.
~//~
Title: The Great Blackberry Tea Problem
Ship(s): Yvette Cooper/Ed Balls/Andy Burnham
Word Count: 578
Rating: R
Summary: There are many ways to tell the story of how Yvette's Blackberry ended up drenched in tea. For this prompt at the meme.
Disclaimer: This is a creative work of fiction, composed of fictional characters inspired by the public personas of living people. No injury or disrespect is intended to the persons named. If you've found this by googling yourself or someone you know, stop playing on the Internet and go run the country.
The Great Blackberry Tea Problem
“My boyfriend knocked a cup of tea over on top of it while he was in bed with me and my husband.”
This is how Yvette would answer the helpful young person, if she was being entirely honest.
But beyond the obvious security implications of a random helpful young person having that information – although Yvette doubts that the random helpful young person knows who she is in the first place – that statement implies a certain type of situation.
Perhaps Ed sank into Andy, and Andy’s arm flew out in ecstasy, and he knocked a cup of tea over on the bedside table. (But this didn’t happen.)
Perhaps Yvette was sucking Andy’s cock, and Andy reached down blindly to palm the back of her head, misjudging his reach – with predictable results for the cup of tea. (But this didn’t happen either.)
Perhaps Ed was going down on Yvette, as Andy slowly worked his fingers into Ed’s arse, and in his attempts to get a better angle, Andy kicked a leg out and caught the tea a glancing blow. (But this was not what happened.)
Perhaps Andy was riding Ed’s cock, as Yvette pinched Ed’s nipples and whispered things in his ear, and a particularly vigorous thrust from Ed overbalanced Andy and sent him tumbling off the bed, grasping at everything in his path to slow his descent, including cups of tea. (But even this was not what happened.)
The helpful young person is still waiting for an answer, doing helpful things to Yvette’s poor beloved tea-drenched Blackberry while she waits for Yvette’s explanation.
“It was an accident,” Yvette finally says.
Yvette, in bed, trying to finish her chapter, absent-mindedly asking Andy to pass her cup of tea. Andy, rolling over, in the act of picking it up. Ed, sauntering naked in from the shower, throwing himself down on the bed between them with great drama and showering of water droplets, jogging Andy’s arm and precipitating the deluge.
“Honestly, I’ve done it myself,” the helpful young person says, handing her Blackberry back. Yvette resists the urge to cuddle it. If Ed ever found out – and he would – he’d never stop making fun of her. “It’s safer to leave it in your handbag, of course, but who does that?”
Who does that, indeed.
Ed is waiting outside in the car. “Did they fix the blackberry tea problem?”
“Yes,” Yvette says, curling her fingers around it protectively.
“Blackberry tea problem,” Ed says again. “Get it?”
“It was raspberry, Ed,” Yvette says, long-sufferingly.
“Be a better story if it was blackberry,” Ed says, and checks for traffic.
Yvette hides a smile. “You can tell it that way if you want to. Leave Andy out, though.”
“Be a better story with him in,” Ed says, managing to keep a straight face for a moment.
“Yes, it would,” Yvette says, after they’ve finished laughing, “yes, it would.”
Time for a tentative test tweet, as Ed pulls out into the road; time for a tentative test text to Andy, euphemistic and guarded but eloquent nonetheless; time for a tentative test call to her mother, asking if the kids can sleep over at her house.
After all, in the wake of the Blackberry trauma their lovely evening had been quite derailed. Perhaps, Yvette thinks, they can try again tonight. Perhaps all those situations that didn’t-happen can yet be made to happen.
But this time, her beloved Blackberry is staying far away from tea. Raspberry, blackberry, or otherwise.
~//~
