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FIC: Helmsman of a Liberal Ship
Fandom: UK Politics
Title: Helmsman of a Liberal Ship
Ship(s): David Cameron/Nick Clegg
Word Count: 585
Rating: G
Summary: Nick is tired of being left behind while all of his MPs find love. He comes up with a plan. Set in the Yenta universe. For my 50-fic party at the meme.
Disclaimer: This is a creative work of fiction, composed of fictional characters inspired by the public personas of living people. No injury or disrespect is intended to the persons named. If you've found this by googling yourself or someone you know, stop playing on the Internet and go run the country.
Helmsman of a Liberal Ship
Nick flings himself in the chair and stares bleakly at the floor.
“How did DPMQ’s go?” David asks, pleasantly, ticking a mark in the margin of the report in front of him.
“Abysmally,” Nick says, glowering at his feet.
“That’s good,” David says, and makes another tick.
Nick waits.
The pen clatters to the desk. “What?”
“Abysmally,” Nick repeats. He looks up, lets David see his woebegone features.
David falls right into it. “What happened?” His face is concerned, even alarmed.
“Two of my MPs fell in love,” Nick says, and kicks at the floor vengefully.
He can practically hear the wheels in David’s head turning. “Two of your MPs…fell in love.”
“Yes,” Nick says, and considers whether sticking his lip out would be overkill.
“Oh, Hames and Swinson!” David sounds incredibly relieved.
Nick suppresses a grin, and puts some petulance into his tone. “They got married five months ago, David. Do try to keep up.”
“Teather and…Hughes?” David tries.
Nick doesn’t have to pretend to be horrified at that one. “David!”
David laughs. “Well, who, then?”
“Jeremy and Michael,” Nick says, gloomily. “They were all over each other, the whole time, and then I had a word with Michael to ask him to tone it down in public, and apparently they hadn’t actually done anything yet and I gave them the idea.”
“Jeremy and Michael,” David repeats. “I didn’t know they were gay.”
Nick shrugs. “I don’t know if they are. We tend to be bisexual, actually.”
“We being Liberal Democrats?” David hazards.
Nick nods.
David smiles, all easy bonhomie. “Apart from you, of course!”
Nick just looks at him.
After a minute, David’s smile freezes. “Oh.”
“Not that it matters,” Nick says woefully, biting the inside of his lip to keep from smiling. “The man I have my eye on is completely oblivious.”
David looks a little wide-eyed, but he’s proud of his Compassionate Toryness, and he plays along gamely. “Have you tried flirting with him?”
Nick snorts. “Yes. He flirts back, but I don’t think he realises what he’s doing.”
David thinks about it for a minute. “Have you tried saying something?”
“Believe me,” Nick says, “I’ve tried everything save marching up and kissing him silly.”
David laughs.
Come on, David, Nick thinks. Come on.
“Well, why not do that, then?” David says.
Yes!
Nick gets up, marches over to David’s desk, leans down, and kisses him silly.
It might be moments, it might be minutes, it might be years later, when they finally come up for air. David’s hands are in Nick’s hair; one of Nick’s is on David’s neck, the other cups his face. Their lips are bitten, their ties askew, their faces flushed.
“Well,” David says, and swallows. Nick is close enough to see his throat bob. “I suppose I did ask for it.”
“You are oblivious,” Nick tells him, cheerfully. “And you have nearly driven me into an early grave.”
“I thought that was the job,” David says, and his eyes sparkle with mischief.
Nick kisses him again for that, and reaches for his tie.
David laughs into his mouth and curls his tongue around Nick’s, lewd and warm and perfect.
Somewhere, Jeremy and Michael are exploring each other’s bodies. Somewhere, Jo and Duncan are christening yet another House of Commons cupboard. Somewhere, Julian is working up the courage to ask Gove out for a beer.
Nick is their Leader – the helmsman of a Liberal ship – and he thinks he is the luckiest of them all.
~//~
Title: Helmsman of a Liberal Ship
Ship(s): David Cameron/Nick Clegg
Word Count: 585
Rating: G
Summary: Nick is tired of being left behind while all of his MPs find love. He comes up with a plan. Set in the Yenta universe. For my 50-fic party at the meme.
Disclaimer: This is a creative work of fiction, composed of fictional characters inspired by the public personas of living people. No injury or disrespect is intended to the persons named. If you've found this by googling yourself or someone you know, stop playing on the Internet and go run the country.
Helmsman of a Liberal Ship
Nick flings himself in the chair and stares bleakly at the floor.
“How did DPMQ’s go?” David asks, pleasantly, ticking a mark in the margin of the report in front of him.
“Abysmally,” Nick says, glowering at his feet.
“That’s good,” David says, and makes another tick.
Nick waits.
The pen clatters to the desk. “What?”
“Abysmally,” Nick repeats. He looks up, lets David see his woebegone features.
David falls right into it. “What happened?” His face is concerned, even alarmed.
“Two of my MPs fell in love,” Nick says, and kicks at the floor vengefully.
He can practically hear the wheels in David’s head turning. “Two of your MPs…fell in love.”
“Yes,” Nick says, and considers whether sticking his lip out would be overkill.
“Oh, Hames and Swinson!” David sounds incredibly relieved.
Nick suppresses a grin, and puts some petulance into his tone. “They got married five months ago, David. Do try to keep up.”
“Teather and…Hughes?” David tries.
Nick doesn’t have to pretend to be horrified at that one. “David!”
David laughs. “Well, who, then?”
“Jeremy and Michael,” Nick says, gloomily. “They were all over each other, the whole time, and then I had a word with Michael to ask him to tone it down in public, and apparently they hadn’t actually done anything yet and I gave them the idea.”
“Jeremy and Michael,” David repeats. “I didn’t know they were gay.”
Nick shrugs. “I don’t know if they are. We tend to be bisexual, actually.”
“We being Liberal Democrats?” David hazards.
Nick nods.
David smiles, all easy bonhomie. “Apart from you, of course!”
Nick just looks at him.
After a minute, David’s smile freezes. “Oh.”
“Not that it matters,” Nick says woefully, biting the inside of his lip to keep from smiling. “The man I have my eye on is completely oblivious.”
David looks a little wide-eyed, but he’s proud of his Compassionate Toryness, and he plays along gamely. “Have you tried flirting with him?”
Nick snorts. “Yes. He flirts back, but I don’t think he realises what he’s doing.”
David thinks about it for a minute. “Have you tried saying something?”
“Believe me,” Nick says, “I’ve tried everything save marching up and kissing him silly.”
David laughs.
Come on, David, Nick thinks. Come on.
“Well, why not do that, then?” David says.
Yes!
Nick gets up, marches over to David’s desk, leans down, and kisses him silly.
It might be moments, it might be minutes, it might be years later, when they finally come up for air. David’s hands are in Nick’s hair; one of Nick’s is on David’s neck, the other cups his face. Their lips are bitten, their ties askew, their faces flushed.
“Well,” David says, and swallows. Nick is close enough to see his throat bob. “I suppose I did ask for it.”
“You are oblivious,” Nick tells him, cheerfully. “And you have nearly driven me into an early grave.”
“I thought that was the job,” David says, and his eyes sparkle with mischief.
Nick kisses him again for that, and reaches for his tie.
David laughs into his mouth and curls his tongue around Nick’s, lewd and warm and perfect.
Somewhere, Jeremy and Michael are exploring each other’s bodies. Somewhere, Jo and Duncan are christening yet another House of Commons cupboard. Somewhere, Julian is working up the courage to ask Gove out for a beer.
Nick is their Leader – the helmsman of a Liberal ship – and he thinks he is the luckiest of them all.
~//~