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FIC: An Acceptable Price
Fandom: UK Politics
Title: An Acceptable Price
Ship(s): Ed Balls/David Miliband, Ed Balls/Yvette Cooper
Word Count: 2,371
Rating: R
Summary: David Miliband wants to rejoin the Shadow Cabinet. He's willing to pay the price. For this prompt at the meme.
Disclaimer: This is a creative work of fiction, composed of fictional characters inspired by the public personas of living people. No injury or disrespect is intended to the persons named. If you've found this by googling yourself or someone you know, stop playing on the Internet and go run the country.
An Acceptable Price
“You’re a bruiser and a bully,” David says.
Balls grins, teeth flashing in his pudgy face.
“Now, David,” Cooper says, from her seat behind the desk, “That’s hardly useful.”
David sets his teeth. “I’ll show you useful.”
Balls’s eyebrows shoot up. “Bring it on.”
“Boys,” Cooper says, but her glance at Balls is fond, and why not? They’re married, after all. Christ, but this Shadow Cabinet is incestuous. Tony and Gordon may have fought like an old married couple, but at least they weren’t one.
David takes a calming breath, counts to ten. Louise’s voice comes to him. They can only upset you if you let them.
The problem is that with Ed Balls around, “letting” doesn’t usually come into the picture.
“I want to see my brother,” he says, when he’s reasonably sure that it’ll come out without sounding like a petulant child.
“Sorry,” Balls says, not even trying to hide the smirk. “The Leader is busy.”
“With what?” David says, staying polite. He’s lost his temper once already. He’s better than this.
Balls puts on a saintly look. It doesn’t fit him. “With Leaderly business.”
“Ed asked us to talk with you,” Cooper says.
“Did he.” David ignores Balls’s amused eyebrows.
“Yes,” Cooper says. “Ed would have loved to talk with you himself, but he simply can’t get away this morning, and he wondered if you’d mind telling us what you’ve come to talk about.”
A long and polite way of rephrasing Balls’s initial question, upon entering the room: “So what the fuck do you want?”
On one level, David supposes he deserves it; he has played hard to get for over a year. But on another level, these two have a lot of nerve – he’s been a central figure in New Labour for years, and he’s still the Leader’s brother. Where do they get off treating him like a supplicant?
Breathe, David. “I’ve come to talk to my brother about our future.”
Balls looks distinctly unimpressed. Although to be fair, David thinks it’s a default expression. “Granita Pact or return to Shadow Cabinet? Or both?”
“Ed,” Cooper says, and the one word manages to tone down Balls’s belligerence in an almost magical way.
She turns to David. “I know this discussion is a difficult one for you, but we do need to have it. Your brother is doing well recently, and the last thing Ed and I want is for him to be distracted.”
“You’d rather I hadn’t come,” David says.
“I’d rather we all sat down and talked like adults,” she counters.
“Yeah,” Balls says.
“That includes you,” she says over her shoulder. Balls’s answering smile manages to be both sheepish and fond.
David breathes. He’d expected to have to sacrifice his pride to Ed, not to these two clowns. But there doesn’t seem to be anything for it. “I would like to rejoin the Cabinet. I’m willing to go where Ed asks me.”
“As long as it’s a first-tier brief,” Balls says, sarcastically.
“I’m sure Ed would wish to use my talents most fully,” David says, baring his teeth.
“What position did you have in mind?” Cooper asks, ignoring both of them.
Balls snorts. “Do we really have to have this conversation, Yvette?”
“Ed asked us to,” she says, severely. “I know how you feel, but behave.”
“And how do you feel?” David asks the wanker.
“I don’t trust you,” Balls says, and steps closer. David holds his ground; Balls may be heavier, but David is taller, and he’s never been intimidated by Brown’s goons. “I don’t trust you, Miliband, and I never will.”
“Blairite scum, I suppose,” David says, words rasping.
“Blairite scum who cried like a little girl and refused to put the country first,” Balls agrees.
“Sexist,” Cooper says, her voice sounding a bit tired.
“I lost too,” Balls says, and his face is very close now. Spittle forms on his lips, and David is torn between rising bile and fascination. “But I didn’t run off to piss and moan and sulk. I rolled up my sleeves and I got to work. Where the hell do you come from waltzing in a year later and wanting back in the fold?”
“What the fuck do you want from me?” David shouts, and all right, the decibel level has certainly ratcheted up now. But he’s beyond Louise’s calming techniques. “Forgive me for having my career dashed to pieces by someone I thought cared about me. Forgive me for wanting to give him space to let the public get to know who the fuck he was. Forgive me for hating the fucking Tories and this fucking coalition and wanting to help fight them!” He’s breathing hard, and Balls’s face is still exceedingly close. “Fuck you,” he says into it, very distinctly.
There’s silence for a minute. Cooper is rubbing her temples and refusing to look at either of them.
Then Balls breaks into a grin. Sharkish rather than friendly, to be sure. “All right, so you still have fight. That’s good.”
“Fuck you,” David says again, for good measure.
“Fight isn’t enough,” Cooper says. “Say Ed puts him in Education. The first time Gove had an opportunity, he’d go straight for ‘sad frustrated failure’ or the like. And Bercow may not particularly like Gove, but I think he’d take a dim view of David shouting obscenities at him across the despatch box.”
“I’m not going to shout obscenities in the chamber,” David says, clenching and unclenching his fingers.
“I had two questions for you before I would recommend to Ed that he bring you back into the Shadow Cabinet,” Cooper says. “The first was whether you still had the passion needed to do the job. I think you do.”
“Thanks,” David says, sarcastically.
Cooper holds up her hand. “The second was whether you could swallow your pride and do the job.”
David doesn’t look at Balls. He’s never been close enough to study the dynamic between them at any great length before, but going by today, he’s beginning to suspect that – appearances aside – the half of the duo he needs to convince is the one who won’t spit in his face and scream at him. “I swallowed my pride by coming here today.”
She shakes her head. “Not enough. Do you have any idea how humiliating your first week would be? Your first appearance in the Commons, with an entire Tory side arrayed solely to heckle you? If you quit after a few days, or had a public disagreement with Ed, this Shadow Cabinet would be badly damaged. I won’t allow that to happen.”
“You won’t allow that to happen,” David repeats. “Just who is the Leader here?”
“Ed is the Leader,” Cooper says, quietly. “But if the two of us threaten to resign he’ll listen.”
David transfers his gaze to Balls. “You’d challenge Ed’s leadership over my return.”
Balls grins. “I’m all for it. Yvette would win.”
“It’s not coming to that,” Cooper says.
David looks at the two of them. “I don’t know what I can do to satisfy you,” he says, simply. His anger has ebbed away, leaving him feeling more tired than anything else. “I’m ready to sacrifice my pride, or I never would have come here today, and I certainly would never have agreed to this meeting.”
Cooper looks thoughtful. Her eyes meet his squarely.
“I want to make a difference again,” he says. “I miss the days when I made a substantive difference in people’s lives. I thought a backstage role would be a welcome change, but it hasn’t been. I want to fight the Tories, and I’m willing to sacrifice my pride to do so.”
Cooper looks at Balls. “Ed?”
“I don’t see how we can test him,” Balls says. “Gove might be willing to come over and take a punt at it, but he’d tell Cameron and it’d all leak out.”
David finds his tongue. “You are not bringing Gove over to abuse me.”
Balls raises his eyebrows. “Well, apart from having you suck my cock, I’m all out of ideas.”
“Ed,” Cooper says, in a tone that says You are hopeless and I love you but please behave.
“Your sexual bullying does not impress me,” David tells him.
In the slightly awkward silence that follows, David considers his options. It’s true, they are at an impasse. He’s a fair enough person to admit that his record does not bode particularly well for his capability to withstand humiliation. He may know that he can push through the pressure; but how can he possibly convince the couple before him?
“Fine,” he says, abruptly, without quite meaning to. Part of him steps back, horrified. “Fine.”
“…Fine what?” Cooper says, after a moment.
“If that’s the only way to get back in the Shadow Cabinet, I’ll suck your tiny cock, Balls,” David says.
Will it work? Will Cooper accept the humiliation of that statement as evidence? She stares at him, and he stares back, trying to look unconcerned.
With his eyes on Cooper’s, he’s unprepared for the descent of heavy hands on his shoulders, pushing him down. Balls is as strong as he looks, and David is taken by surprise; he thumps to his knees, with an impact that’s sure to leave bruises.
“What the hell?” David says, gathering himself to spring back to his feet.
“Ed!” Cooper says, already on hers.
“Prove it,” Balls says, staring belligerently down at him. “Prove it.”
David never meant it to go this far. He meant the ‘willingness’ to persuade Cooper that he was in earnest; he meant for her to laugh and say it was hardly necessary. He meant Balls to make a face and back away.
Cooper comes around the desk and perches on the edge of it, long legs swinging. “I suppose,” she says, slowly, “that that would indeed answer the second question.”
And that is how David Miliband, in complete denial that the situation has come this far, finds himself reaching out and laying hands on Ed Balls’s belt buckle.
~//~
It’s not like David’s never done this before. He wouldn’t call himself an accomplished cocksucker, but he’s had a fair number of opportunities over the years. His technique may not win any awards for style, but he knows how to get the job done.
In this case, he wouldn’t be going for style in any event. The looming Brownite bully wheezing stentoriously above him is not getting anything more than the fastest, most efficient blowjob David can muster. He’s demonstrating that he can survive humiliation, not that he enjoys it.
Cooper’s come up behind him and threaded a hand into his hair, stroking it gently. David’s not sure whether he resents the familiarity or is glad of it; the motion does ground him, helping him tamp down what feels like rising hysteria. Louise’s calming techniques are excellent, but she didn’t give him one for this particular situation.
“Fuck,” Balls says, and his voice is rough. “Your mouth…”
David feels fingers tracing the stretch of his mouth around Balls’s cock, spreading slickness. He keeps his eyes turned obstinately away, keeps his mind on the task at hand. Compartmentalise.
“Fuck, Yvette, look at the little bastard,” Balls says.
“I am looking,” Cooper says, and her voice is both amused and a bit rueful. He hears the sound of a kiss, and the hand in his hair tightens.
Balls is breathing hard. David wishes he’d take the logical response and stop talking, but no such luck. “If only Tony could see his precious boy now.”
David pulls off with a wet pop. “You leave Tony out of this, Balls.”
Another hand on his head – larger, more demanding – and a shove back toward Balls’s cock. “Get back to it.”
David’s fingernails are digging gouges in his hands, but he obeys.
Over his head, Cooper takes pity on him – or perhaps she is as turned on by David’s humiliation as Balls appears to be; whatever the case, she kisses Balls again, and keeps his mouth engaged.
David concentrates on the slow slick slide of Balls’s cock (curses, but it’s not little at all), on hollowing his cheeks and relaxing his jaw, on willing away his own natural reaction to the smell of musk and the taste of cock. He’s damned if he’s going to suffer that humiliation.
“Oh god,” he hears Balls say, half smothered against Cooper’s mouth. He sucks harder, and braces for the flood of semen; he’s thus completely unprepared when Balls reaches down, pulls his cock out of David’s mouth, and comes all over David’s face.
“Fuck,” David yells, scrambling backward, blind, trails of come dripping lewdly down his face.
“Ed,” Cooper says, half a laugh and half a cry, and a moment later she’s kneeling beside David, wiping at his face with tissues. “I apologise for my Neanderthal of a husband.”
David breathes. In. Out.
When she finishes cleaning him up and steps back, he gets to his feet and opens his eyes. Balls has done his trousers up again; the room looks as innocuous and banal as it did half an hour ago.
He pulls his dignity to him. “Have I answered your questions?” he asks Cooper.
“Yes,” she says, and hesitates. “I’ll have to talk to Ed – your brother - but I think I’m safe in saying welcome back.”
David nods at her.
“Welcome back,” Balls says - unexpectedly, awkwardly. (Cooper must have shot him a glance.)
“Thank you,” David says.
“Time to fuck the Tories,” Balls says, and his piggish eyes light up.
David is tired, and humiliated, and there may very possibly be come in his eyelashes. The next week will no doubt be hell - all the Tories will gloat viciously, with a practised skill that will make even the efforts of Ed Balls look amateurish. He still hasn’t talked to his brother.
But there will be a light after the storm. He has clawed his way back into front-line politics, and he is back where he belongs, back where his blood thrills and his heart sings. A bit of tiredness and humiliation is a small price to pay; and after all, come washes out.
“Time to fuck the Tories,” David agrees, and lets the smile into his eyes.
~//~
Title: An Acceptable Price
Ship(s): Ed Balls/David Miliband, Ed Balls/Yvette Cooper
Word Count: 2,371
Rating: R
Summary: David Miliband wants to rejoin the Shadow Cabinet. He's willing to pay the price. For this prompt at the meme.
Disclaimer: This is a creative work of fiction, composed of fictional characters inspired by the public personas of living people. No injury or disrespect is intended to the persons named. If you've found this by googling yourself or someone you know, stop playing on the Internet and go run the country.
An Acceptable Price
“You’re a bruiser and a bully,” David says.
Balls grins, teeth flashing in his pudgy face.
“Now, David,” Cooper says, from her seat behind the desk, “That’s hardly useful.”
David sets his teeth. “I’ll show you useful.”
Balls’s eyebrows shoot up. “Bring it on.”
“Boys,” Cooper says, but her glance at Balls is fond, and why not? They’re married, after all. Christ, but this Shadow Cabinet is incestuous. Tony and Gordon may have fought like an old married couple, but at least they weren’t one.
David takes a calming breath, counts to ten. Louise’s voice comes to him. They can only upset you if you let them.
The problem is that with Ed Balls around, “letting” doesn’t usually come into the picture.
“I want to see my brother,” he says, when he’s reasonably sure that it’ll come out without sounding like a petulant child.
“Sorry,” Balls says, not even trying to hide the smirk. “The Leader is busy.”
“With what?” David says, staying polite. He’s lost his temper once already. He’s better than this.
Balls puts on a saintly look. It doesn’t fit him. “With Leaderly business.”
“Ed asked us to talk with you,” Cooper says.
“Did he.” David ignores Balls’s amused eyebrows.
“Yes,” Cooper says. “Ed would have loved to talk with you himself, but he simply can’t get away this morning, and he wondered if you’d mind telling us what you’ve come to talk about.”
A long and polite way of rephrasing Balls’s initial question, upon entering the room: “So what the fuck do you want?”
On one level, David supposes he deserves it; he has played hard to get for over a year. But on another level, these two have a lot of nerve – he’s been a central figure in New Labour for years, and he’s still the Leader’s brother. Where do they get off treating him like a supplicant?
Breathe, David. “I’ve come to talk to my brother about our future.”
Balls looks distinctly unimpressed. Although to be fair, David thinks it’s a default expression. “Granita Pact or return to Shadow Cabinet? Or both?”
“Ed,” Cooper says, and the one word manages to tone down Balls’s belligerence in an almost magical way.
She turns to David. “I know this discussion is a difficult one for you, but we do need to have it. Your brother is doing well recently, and the last thing Ed and I want is for him to be distracted.”
“You’d rather I hadn’t come,” David says.
“I’d rather we all sat down and talked like adults,” she counters.
“Yeah,” Balls says.
“That includes you,” she says over her shoulder. Balls’s answering smile manages to be both sheepish and fond.
David breathes. He’d expected to have to sacrifice his pride to Ed, not to these two clowns. But there doesn’t seem to be anything for it. “I would like to rejoin the Cabinet. I’m willing to go where Ed asks me.”
“As long as it’s a first-tier brief,” Balls says, sarcastically.
“I’m sure Ed would wish to use my talents most fully,” David says, baring his teeth.
“What position did you have in mind?” Cooper asks, ignoring both of them.
Balls snorts. “Do we really have to have this conversation, Yvette?”
“Ed asked us to,” she says, severely. “I know how you feel, but behave.”
“And how do you feel?” David asks the wanker.
“I don’t trust you,” Balls says, and steps closer. David holds his ground; Balls may be heavier, but David is taller, and he’s never been intimidated by Brown’s goons. “I don’t trust you, Miliband, and I never will.”
“Blairite scum, I suppose,” David says, words rasping.
“Blairite scum who cried like a little girl and refused to put the country first,” Balls agrees.
“Sexist,” Cooper says, her voice sounding a bit tired.
“I lost too,” Balls says, and his face is very close now. Spittle forms on his lips, and David is torn between rising bile and fascination. “But I didn’t run off to piss and moan and sulk. I rolled up my sleeves and I got to work. Where the hell do you come from waltzing in a year later and wanting back in the fold?”
“What the fuck do you want from me?” David shouts, and all right, the decibel level has certainly ratcheted up now. But he’s beyond Louise’s calming techniques. “Forgive me for having my career dashed to pieces by someone I thought cared about me. Forgive me for wanting to give him space to let the public get to know who the fuck he was. Forgive me for hating the fucking Tories and this fucking coalition and wanting to help fight them!” He’s breathing hard, and Balls’s face is still exceedingly close. “Fuck you,” he says into it, very distinctly.
There’s silence for a minute. Cooper is rubbing her temples and refusing to look at either of them.
Then Balls breaks into a grin. Sharkish rather than friendly, to be sure. “All right, so you still have fight. That’s good.”
“Fuck you,” David says again, for good measure.
“Fight isn’t enough,” Cooper says. “Say Ed puts him in Education. The first time Gove had an opportunity, he’d go straight for ‘sad frustrated failure’ or the like. And Bercow may not particularly like Gove, but I think he’d take a dim view of David shouting obscenities at him across the despatch box.”
“I’m not going to shout obscenities in the chamber,” David says, clenching and unclenching his fingers.
“I had two questions for you before I would recommend to Ed that he bring you back into the Shadow Cabinet,” Cooper says. “The first was whether you still had the passion needed to do the job. I think you do.”
“Thanks,” David says, sarcastically.
Cooper holds up her hand. “The second was whether you could swallow your pride and do the job.”
David doesn’t look at Balls. He’s never been close enough to study the dynamic between them at any great length before, but going by today, he’s beginning to suspect that – appearances aside – the half of the duo he needs to convince is the one who won’t spit in his face and scream at him. “I swallowed my pride by coming here today.”
She shakes her head. “Not enough. Do you have any idea how humiliating your first week would be? Your first appearance in the Commons, with an entire Tory side arrayed solely to heckle you? If you quit after a few days, or had a public disagreement with Ed, this Shadow Cabinet would be badly damaged. I won’t allow that to happen.”
“You won’t allow that to happen,” David repeats. “Just who is the Leader here?”
“Ed is the Leader,” Cooper says, quietly. “But if the two of us threaten to resign he’ll listen.”
David transfers his gaze to Balls. “You’d challenge Ed’s leadership over my return.”
Balls grins. “I’m all for it. Yvette would win.”
“It’s not coming to that,” Cooper says.
David looks at the two of them. “I don’t know what I can do to satisfy you,” he says, simply. His anger has ebbed away, leaving him feeling more tired than anything else. “I’m ready to sacrifice my pride, or I never would have come here today, and I certainly would never have agreed to this meeting.”
Cooper looks thoughtful. Her eyes meet his squarely.
“I want to make a difference again,” he says. “I miss the days when I made a substantive difference in people’s lives. I thought a backstage role would be a welcome change, but it hasn’t been. I want to fight the Tories, and I’m willing to sacrifice my pride to do so.”
Cooper looks at Balls. “Ed?”
“I don’t see how we can test him,” Balls says. “Gove might be willing to come over and take a punt at it, but he’d tell Cameron and it’d all leak out.”
David finds his tongue. “You are not bringing Gove over to abuse me.”
Balls raises his eyebrows. “Well, apart from having you suck my cock, I’m all out of ideas.”
“Ed,” Cooper says, in a tone that says You are hopeless and I love you but please behave.
“Your sexual bullying does not impress me,” David tells him.
In the slightly awkward silence that follows, David considers his options. It’s true, they are at an impasse. He’s a fair enough person to admit that his record does not bode particularly well for his capability to withstand humiliation. He may know that he can push through the pressure; but how can he possibly convince the couple before him?
“Fine,” he says, abruptly, without quite meaning to. Part of him steps back, horrified. “Fine.”
“…Fine what?” Cooper says, after a moment.
“If that’s the only way to get back in the Shadow Cabinet, I’ll suck your tiny cock, Balls,” David says.
Will it work? Will Cooper accept the humiliation of that statement as evidence? She stares at him, and he stares back, trying to look unconcerned.
With his eyes on Cooper’s, he’s unprepared for the descent of heavy hands on his shoulders, pushing him down. Balls is as strong as he looks, and David is taken by surprise; he thumps to his knees, with an impact that’s sure to leave bruises.
“What the hell?” David says, gathering himself to spring back to his feet.
“Ed!” Cooper says, already on hers.
“Prove it,” Balls says, staring belligerently down at him. “Prove it.”
David never meant it to go this far. He meant the ‘willingness’ to persuade Cooper that he was in earnest; he meant for her to laugh and say it was hardly necessary. He meant Balls to make a face and back away.
Cooper comes around the desk and perches on the edge of it, long legs swinging. “I suppose,” she says, slowly, “that that would indeed answer the second question.”
And that is how David Miliband, in complete denial that the situation has come this far, finds himself reaching out and laying hands on Ed Balls’s belt buckle.
~//~
It’s not like David’s never done this before. He wouldn’t call himself an accomplished cocksucker, but he’s had a fair number of opportunities over the years. His technique may not win any awards for style, but he knows how to get the job done.
In this case, he wouldn’t be going for style in any event. The looming Brownite bully wheezing stentoriously above him is not getting anything more than the fastest, most efficient blowjob David can muster. He’s demonstrating that he can survive humiliation, not that he enjoys it.
Cooper’s come up behind him and threaded a hand into his hair, stroking it gently. David’s not sure whether he resents the familiarity or is glad of it; the motion does ground him, helping him tamp down what feels like rising hysteria. Louise’s calming techniques are excellent, but she didn’t give him one for this particular situation.
“Fuck,” Balls says, and his voice is rough. “Your mouth…”
David feels fingers tracing the stretch of his mouth around Balls’s cock, spreading slickness. He keeps his eyes turned obstinately away, keeps his mind on the task at hand. Compartmentalise.
“Fuck, Yvette, look at the little bastard,” Balls says.
“I am looking,” Cooper says, and her voice is both amused and a bit rueful. He hears the sound of a kiss, and the hand in his hair tightens.
Balls is breathing hard. David wishes he’d take the logical response and stop talking, but no such luck. “If only Tony could see his precious boy now.”
David pulls off with a wet pop. “You leave Tony out of this, Balls.”
Another hand on his head – larger, more demanding – and a shove back toward Balls’s cock. “Get back to it.”
David’s fingernails are digging gouges in his hands, but he obeys.
Over his head, Cooper takes pity on him – or perhaps she is as turned on by David’s humiliation as Balls appears to be; whatever the case, she kisses Balls again, and keeps his mouth engaged.
David concentrates on the slow slick slide of Balls’s cock (curses, but it’s not little at all), on hollowing his cheeks and relaxing his jaw, on willing away his own natural reaction to the smell of musk and the taste of cock. He’s damned if he’s going to suffer that humiliation.
“Oh god,” he hears Balls say, half smothered against Cooper’s mouth. He sucks harder, and braces for the flood of semen; he’s thus completely unprepared when Balls reaches down, pulls his cock out of David’s mouth, and comes all over David’s face.
“Fuck,” David yells, scrambling backward, blind, trails of come dripping lewdly down his face.
“Ed,” Cooper says, half a laugh and half a cry, and a moment later she’s kneeling beside David, wiping at his face with tissues. “I apologise for my Neanderthal of a husband.”
David breathes. In. Out.
When she finishes cleaning him up and steps back, he gets to his feet and opens his eyes. Balls has done his trousers up again; the room looks as innocuous and banal as it did half an hour ago.
He pulls his dignity to him. “Have I answered your questions?” he asks Cooper.
“Yes,” she says, and hesitates. “I’ll have to talk to Ed – your brother - but I think I’m safe in saying welcome back.”
David nods at her.
“Welcome back,” Balls says - unexpectedly, awkwardly. (Cooper must have shot him a glance.)
“Thank you,” David says.
“Time to fuck the Tories,” Balls says, and his piggish eyes light up.
David is tired, and humiliated, and there may very possibly be come in his eyelashes. The next week will no doubt be hell - all the Tories will gloat viciously, with a practised skill that will make even the efforts of Ed Balls look amateurish. He still hasn’t talked to his brother.
But there will be a light after the storm. He has clawed his way back into front-line politics, and he is back where he belongs, back where his blood thrills and his heart sings. A bit of tiredness and humiliation is a small price to pay; and after all, come washes out.
“Time to fuck the Tories,” David agrees, and lets the smile into his eyes.
~//~