zaubra: (sunshine through hair)
[personal profile] zaubra
Fandom: UK Politics
Title: Otherwise Engaged - or, How Ed Balls Defeats the English Language
Ship(s): Ed Balls/Andy Burnham, Ed Balls/Andy Burnham/Yvette Cooper
Word Count: 496
Rating: R
Summary: For a errant comment on the meme, which was "Er, yeah, very much so! I'll try to be slightly more coherent in the morning ;-)"
Disclaimer: This is a creative work of fiction, composed of fictional characters inspired by the public personas of living people. No injury or disrespect is intended to the persons named. If you've found this by googling yourself or someone you know, stop playing on the Internet and go run the country.



Otherwise Engaged - or, How Ed Balls Defeats the English Language

Andy is face down in the pillows, with Ed peppering kisses across the backs of his thighs, when Ed’s mobile rings. He can think of no worse a time, particularly as he’s never found Elvis sexy.

Ed’s chin sinks in to the fleshy part of his bum. “Answer it.”

“What?” A single word cannot capture the full reluctance that the suggestion inspires. “No!”

Ed laughs, a sharp knowing sound, and nips. Over Andy’s yelp, he reiterates, “Answer it.”

With exaggerated bad grace, Andy reaches out a blind hand to fumble around on the table. His fingers close around Ed’s phone and reel it in.

(Ed, his command obeyed, resumes his former occupation.)

“Hello.” Even keeping his voice functioning may pose a challenge, as Andy’s not sure he has much blood remaining in his head at the moment.

“Andy?” Yvette’s voice sounds mildly surprised. “Is Ed there?”

“He’s, um...”

(Ed chooses this moment to dart his tongue somewhere unexpected, and Andy makes a sound that certain uncharitable people might describe as a yelp.)

“Otherwise engaged?” Yvette supplies, and the surprise has turned to laughter.

Andy hears himself making a series of unintelligible noises. “Er, yeah,” he finally manages. “Very much so!” His voice is rising to truly embarrassing heights. If it wasn’t Yvette, he’d be turning bright pink about now.

(Ed laughs, and the rumble of it against his skin makes Andy shiver.)

“I’ve just put the kids to bed,” Yvette says, and the giggle is still in her voice. “You two enjoying yourselves?”

(Andy’s not entirely sure his response is English of any sort or fashion, given that Ed has brought a finger in to aid his tongue.)

“How about I call Ed back in the morning?” Yvette says. Andy does love this woman. Very sensible.

“That...that would be good,” Andy manages, then summons all his willpower for one crack at fluency. “I’ll try to be slightly more coherent in the morning.”

Yvette laughs, and even over the phone Andy can see her smiling, her eyes warm. “I think you’re admirably coherent at the moment, taking into account what my husband is capable of.”

Ed’s voice, dark with promise, interrupts them. “Not if I have anything to do with it.”

Andy cranes his head to look back over his shoulder. His heart does a flop at the sight of Ed, smiling wolfishly at him, eyebrows raised. “What?” Andy manages.

“You said you’d be more coherent in the morning,” Ed explains. “And I said not if I have anything to do with it.”

Andy opens his mouth to answer – even during their precious time together, they have work to do, and he can’t spend all of this weekend in bed – but Ed, his smile turning smug, does something with his fingers that makes the entirety of the English language slide out of Andy’s head.

The last thing he hears from Yvette, before the phone gets lost among the pillows, is laughter.

(But Andy is otherwise engaged.)

~//~
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